Posted by Daisy on June 25, 1997 at 22:30:47:
Little Francine watched her father take a shower. She noticed his
testicles and asked him what they were. "Those are my apples," he
Later the little girl told her mother what Daddy had said. Her
mother smirked, "Did Daddy tell you about the dead limb they're
The mortician was laying out the body of a man with an unbelievably
long penis. He called in his receptionists to show her. She took one
look and said, "That's just like my Harry's."
"You mean he's got one that long?" the mortician asked.
"No," she replied. "That dead."
One morning a milkman called on one of his regular customers and
was surprised to see a white bedsheet with a hole in the middle
hanging up in her living room. The housewife explained that she'd had
a party the night before in which the company played "Who's Whose" -
each of the men had put their equipment through the hole and the women
tried to guess their identity.
"Gee, that sounds like fun," said the milkman. "Sure wish I'd been
"You should have been," said the housewife. "Your name came up
A man with a two-inch prick walked into a whorehouse and dropped
his pants in front of one of the girls.
"Just who do you think you're going to please with that little
thing?" she sneered.
"Me," the man replied.
Good ol' Gomer who's been living on the farm all his life, turned
21. He knew absolutely nothing about women or sex, so as a birthday
present, his dad gave him $50 and told him to go into town and buy
himself a hooker for the evening. "She'll teach ya a thang or two,"
said his dad.
Gomer went to town that night and met a "lady of the evening" in
front of a bar, offered her the $50, and they both went back to her
place. But when they arrived, she sadly informed Gomer that he'd have
to settle for a blow job since she was having her period.
"What's a period," asked Gomer. "Well I'll show you, son," and she
removed her dress and panties, then pulled back her sanitary napkin.
"See, I'm bleeding right now..."
"Well no wonder yer bleedin'," interrupted Gomer, "sombody dun cut
yer cock off!"
A little girl walked into the bathroom, saw her father in the
shower, and ran to her mother screaming, "Mommy, Mommy! Daddy has a
big ugly worm hanging between his legs."
"That isn't a worm, sweetheart," said her mother reassuringly.
"That's part of your daddy's body and a very important part. If your
daddy didn't have one of those, you wouldn't be here... And come to
think of it... neither would I."
Why is a fire engine red?
If somebody pulled your hose all day, you'd be red too!
Concerned about his failing manhood, a farmer went to the local
doctor for help. The doctor gave him a small container of pills and
told him to take no more than one a day.
Back home, the farmer thought he'd try the medication on his stud
horse first. The horse swallowed the pill, jumped out of his stall,
kicked a side of the barn over, and ran off down the road.
"Those pills are too strong for me," the farmer thought, and pour
the rest into his well.
Later, when the doctor came to check on him, the farmer told how he
had disposed of the medication.
"Heavens!" exclaimed the doctor. "You haven't drunk any of the well
water, have you?"
"No," said the farmer. "We can't get the pump handle down."