A young Irish girl is going to be married, so she goes to the local priest to get a few pointers on procreation and the churches views on family planning.
"father, i need to know a few things , for example , i have seen my future husband naked and there is this thing between his legs, sort of sausage shaped , what might that be?"

Oh, the father says , thats called a penis!!

A penis , she replies , what a funny name!! And on the end of this "penis" is a thing shaped like a firemans's helmet, what might that be called, father??

Smiling, the priest replies, "Oh, thats called the head of the penis , my dear!!

"that makes sense", she replies.

The girl thinks for a moment and then asks, " and about 14 inches back from the head of the penis are these two hairy round things, what would they be called, father"?

the priest's face changes from a smile, to one of concern and says "well for your sake ,deary, i sure hope those two hairy round things are called "the cheeks of his ass"!!!