>
>
> Father Knows Best
>
> A man took his pregnant wife to the hospital to give birth, and the doctor
> told them that he had developed an experimental machine and asked if they
> would like to try it out.
> He explained carefully that the machine could take some of the pain of
> childbirth from the mother and give it to the biological father.
> Both the husband and the wife thought this was a wonderful idea and decided
> to give it a try.
> The doctor set the knob on the machine at ten percent for starters,
> explaining to the man that even ten percent was probably more pain than he
> had ever experienced.
> But the man was suprised at how litttle pain he felt and asked the doctor
> to go ahead and turn it up a notch.
> The doctor twisted the knob up to twenty percent and checked the husband's
> blood pressure, which was fine.
> Amazed, the doctor turned the knob again and increased the pain threshold
> to fifty percent.
> Still feeling nothing, the husband encouraged the doctor to give him ALL
> the pain.
> Again, dumbfounded, the doctor increased the load to one hundred percent.
> After his wife had given birth, the man stood up, streched a little and
> helped his wife into the car, both of them feeling fine.
> When they got home, they found the mailman dead on the doorstep!
>
> ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Three Wishes
>
> This man is walking along a beach one day and finds an old lamp washed up
> on the shore.
> He takes it home and places it on his mantle, but doesn't give it much
> thought.
> A few weeks later he looks at it and decides, what the heck, lets rub it
> and see what happens.
> Sure enough, a genie appears and immediately says, "Thank you master for
> freeing me from the lamp. In return, I offer you three wishes."
> The man thinks for awhile and says, "I really don't know what to wish for.
> The genie replies, "Wish for lots of money, that's what most people want in
> life."
> The man replies, "No, I have enough money, I don't need anymore."
> The genie says, "How about travel? I can take you to the far corners of the
> world in an instant."
> The man replies, "No, I 've been to many places and I like it here."
> The genie says, "How about your sex life? How often do you have sex?"
> "Oh, about two times a week, " the man replies.
> "I can make it much more active than that," says the genie.
> "Gee," the man replies, " I thought twice a week was pretty good for a
> priest in a small town!"
>
>
> ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
> ; A Quick Study
>
> A student comes to a young professor's office hours.
> She glances down the hall, closes his door and kneels pleadingly.
> "I would do anything to pass this exam."
> She leans closer to him, flips back her hair, gazes meaningfully into his
> eyes, "I mean," she whispers, "I would do anything..."
> He returns her gaze, "Anything?"
> "Anything."
> His voice softens, "Anything?"
> "Anything," she repeats again.
> His voice turns to a whisper. "Would you...study?"
>
> ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
> Revenge is the Best Medicine
>
> A man is holding his wife's hand as she lays on her death bed.
> "Jerry, I..., I have something to tell you before I pass on."
> "No, no, dear. Everything is forgiven now. All is well."
> "No, Jerry. I have been carrying this load for years now, and I must tell
> you. I,..., I've been unfaithful to you. I slept with your best friend,
> Phil. I am so terribly sorry."
> "Yes, dear, I know. Why do you think I poisoned you?"
>
> ---------------------------------------------------------------------------
>
>
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