Pauly was a delightful parrot that everyone enjoyed talking to, and he
took special pleasure in socializing with the guests at his owners'
frequent cocktail parties. People loved to talk with him and feed him
goodies; indeed, he was often seen as the life of the party.
He had one failing, however; Pauly was a horny little devil. He had a
bad habit of going across the road and terrorizing the chickens that the
neighbor kept. He was a fowl rapist. Often times his owner would have to
make excuses to the neighboring farmer when Pauly had been up to no good.
A particularly egregious incident of chicken screwing really landed
Pauly in hot water. His owner said to him, "I just don't know what to do
with you! I've threatened you, I've pleaded with you, I've punished you,
but nothing I can do seems to keep you out of the chicken house. So, I'm
going to try one last thing: I'm going to humiliate you. Tonight, you'll
not be allowed to hop about and entertain the guests that are coming.
Instead, I'm going to shave your head as a sign of shame and make you stay
on the piano where everyone can see you."
Pauly took it hard that night, standing there on the piano with a shaved
head and not being able to interact with the guests. Each time a couple
came into the drawing room they'd look over a Pauly and have a laugh at
his expense, which made matters all the worse. This worked its intended
effect two bald gentlemen came in together.
Pauly took a look at them and said, "Okay, you chicken fuckers, up here
on the piano with me."