1. At birth, I was given:- A big dick or a good memory. I don't remember what I choose.
2. Your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory.
3. A wife is a sex object. Every time you ask for sex, she objects.
4. Impotence: Nature's way of saying "No hard feelings. ......"
5. There are only two four letter words that are offensive to men: - 'Don't' and 'Stop'; unless they are used together.
6. Panties: Not the best thing on earth; but next to the best thing on earth.
7. There are three stages of sex in a man's life: They are; Try weekly, Try weekly, Try weekly, .........
8. Virginity can be cured.
9. Virginity is not dignity, its lack of opportunity.
10. Having sex is like playing Bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand.
11. I tried phone sex once, but the holes in the dialer were too small.
12. Marriage is only a war; where you get to sleep ith the enemy.
13. Q: What's an Australian kiss?
A: The same thing as French kiss, only down under.
14. A couple just married were happy with he Whole thing. He was happy with the Hole & she was happy with the Thing. ......
15. Q: What are three biggest tragedies in a man's life?
A: Life sucks, Job sucks and the wife doesn't.
16. Q: Why do men find it difficult to make eye contact?
A: Breasts don't have eyes.
17. Despite the old saying; "Don't take your trouble to bed; Many men still sleep with their wives."!!!