A young girl who was a heavy smoker invested in a cigarette lighter to
> economise in matches. After a short time it began to give trouble. So she
> spoke to a gentleman who had one, having just seen him light a cigarette
> with it and put it in his pocket.
>
> She: Now be a dear and tell me about that thing you have there in your
> trousers.
>
> He: (Misunderstanding her and feeling a bit embarrassed) I'm not used to
> discussing such things with ladies.
>
> She: Now there is no need to be shy. Tell me, how does yours work? Do you
> jerk it up and down?
>
> He: Oh, sometimes...
>
> She: Then it's different from mine, mine just opens and shuts. Do you rub
> yours up and down until something comes?
>
> He: Oh yes, especially in cold weather.
>
> She: Have you ever tried pulling your wick and dipping it?
>
> He: No, most certainly not!
>
> She: Oh. You should, it does it good. You never soaked it before then?
>
> He: Of course I haven't.
>
> She: You should try it then sometimes, it takes the stiffness out of it.
>
> He: Er, well... I'm afraid that you are a naughty girl.
>
> She: (Thinking he referred to smoking) Oh, every girl does it nowadays
> anyway. What about your wick, is it a long one?
>
> He: Yes, it is rather on the long side.
> She: I think I will have to try a bigger one because the one I use does
> not seem to go far enough to do any good. Does yours go red on the end
> when it's dry?
>
> He: Yes.
>
> She: So does mine. In the past mine has been giving me much trouble.
> Would you like to have a look at it?
>
> He: No no, not now. We had better wait until it's dark.
>
> She: Don't be ridiculous, you can see much better in the daylight. It has
> been leaking these past few days so I have put a rag around it. I'll
> unwind it now (opening her handbag and producing her lighter). Look, here
> it is (dashing her lighter). It has run out again, damn... now I'll have
> to go back to matches.
>
> The young man collapses.