Laughter is still the best medicine! Posted by H.P.R.Gunawardena on March 06, 2008 at 17:33:46
LESSON 1 A junior manager, a senior manager and their boss are on their way to a meeting. On their way through a park, they come across a wonder lamp. They rub the lamp and a ghost appears. The ghost says : " Normally, one is granted three wishes, but as you are three, I will allow one wish each. " So the eager senior manager shouted : " I want the first wish. I want to be in the Bahamas , on a fast boat and have no worries." Pfufffff …. and he was gone. Now the junior manager could not keep quiet and shouted : " I want to be in Florida with beautiful girls, plenty of food and cocktails. " Pfufffff …. And he was also gone. The boss calmly said : " I want these two idiots back in the office after lunch at 12.30 pm . " MORAL OF THE STORY : ALWAYS LET THE BOSS SPEAK FIRST LESSON 2 Standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand," Listen," said the CEO, " this is a very sensitive and important document,and my secretary has left. Can you make this thing work?" " Certainly," said the young executive. He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button. " Excellent, excellent! " said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the shredder machine. " I just need one copy. " LESSON # 2 : NEVER, NEVER ASSUME THAT YOUR BOSS KNOWS EVERYTHING LESSON 3 An American and a Japanese were sitting on the plane on the way to LA When the American turned to the Japanese and asked " What kind of -ese are you ? " The Japanese, confused, replied : " Sorry, but I don't understand what you mean.. " The American repeated : " What kind of -ese are you ? " Again, the Japanese was confused over the question. The American, now irritated, then yelled : " What kind of -ese are you... Are you a Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese !, etc......??? " The Japanese then replied : " Oh, I am a Japanese. " A while later the Japanese turned to the American and asked what kind of 'key' was he. The American, frustrated, yelled : " What do you mean what kind of -kee' am I ?! " The Japanese said, " Are you a Yankee, donkee, or monkee ? " LESSON No 3 : NEVER INSULT ANYONE LESSON 4 There were these 4 guys - a Russian, a German, an American and a French,who together found this small genie bottle. When they rubbed the bottle, a genie appeared. Thankful that the 4 guys had released him out of the bottle, he said : " Next to you all are 4 swimming pools, I will give each of you a wish.When you run towards the pool and jump, you shout what you want the pool of water to become, then your wish will come true. " The French wanted to start. He ran towards the pool, jumped and shouted : " Wine ! " The pool immediately changed into a pool of wine.The Frenchman was very happy, swimming and drinking from the pool. Next is the Russian's turn.He did the same and shouted : " Vodka ! " and immersed himself into a pool of vodka. The German was next and he jumped and shouted : " Beer ! " He was likewise very contented with his beer-filled pool. The last is the American. He was running towards the pool when suddenly he steps on a banana peel.He slipped towards the pool and shouted, " Shit !!!!!!!..... ...." LESSON # 4 : ALWAYS THINK TWICE BEFORE YOU SAY SOMETHING, BECAUSE SOMETIMES ACCIDENTS DO HAPPEN !
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