An Accountant gets home late one night and his wife says "Where in the hell have you been?"
He replies, "I was out getting a tattoo"
"A tattoo?" she frowned. " What kind of tattoo did you get?"
"I got a hundred dollar bill tattooed on my privates", he said proudly.
"What the hell were you thinking?" she said, shaking her head in disdain.
"Why, on earth, would an accountant get a hundred dollar bill tattooed on his privates?"
"Well, one, I like to watch my money grow;
Two, once in a while, I like to play with my money;
Three, I like how money feels in my hand; and..........
Lastly - instead of you going out shopping on the weekend, you can stay right here at home and blow a hundred bucks anytime you want!!!"