On day pinnochio and his girlfriend was in bed doing what girls and wooden boys do, later as they were cuddling pinnochi could tell that something was bothering his girlfriend, so he asked her 'whats the matter baby'?

pinnochi's girlfriend gave a big sigh and replied' you are probably the best guy i've ever met---but everytime we make love you give me splinters' this remark bothered pinnochio a great deal so, the next day he went to seek some advice from his creator gepetto, as pinnochio revealed his dilemma, gepetto suggested that sand paper might help pinnochio 'smooth' out his relationship with his girlfriend.

Pinnochio graciously thanked gepetto and went on his way.
gepetto had not heard from pinnochio for a while and assumed that sandpaper might have solved all his problem. A couple of weeks later gepetto was in towm to sharpen some blades at a hardware store when he ran into pinnochio, when he saw pinnochio getting all the sandpaper in the hardware store, gepetto remarked 'so, pinnochio, things must be going pretty damn good with the girls'?

to which pinnochio replied 'GIRLS??..WHO NEEDS GIRLS???