An old lady stood at the railing of a cruise ship, holding on tight to her hat so that it wouldn't blow off in the wind.
A gentleman approached her and said, "Pardon my forwardness, madam, but were you aware that your dress is blowing up in the wind?"

"Yes, I know," said the lady. "But I need both hands to hold onto this hat" But madam," the gentleman said in a worried tone, "you must know that your private parts are exposed!"

The old lady glanced down, then back up at the man and replied, "Sir, anything you see down there is 85 years old. I just bought this hat yesterday!"