MODERN LOVE LETTER
Posted by ROSHAN GUNATUNGA on 4/30/2001:
Dearest girl: I am very happy to inform you that I have fallen in love with you since Tuesday the 17th of August 1999 with reference to the meeting held between us on the 17th of august 1999 at 15.00 hours. I would like to present myself as a prospective lover. Our love affair would be on probation for a period of 3 months and depending on the compatibility would be permanent. Of course upon completion of probation, there will be continuous on the relationship appraisal schemes leading up to promotion from lover to spouse. The expenses incurred for coffee and entertainment would initially be shared equally between us. Later based on your performance, I might take up the larger share of the expenses. However I am broad minded enough to be taken care of on your expenses account. I request you to kindly respond within 30 days of receiving the letter-failing which, this offer would be cancelled without further notice and I shall be considering someone else. I would be happy if you could forward this letter to your sister if you do not wish to take up the offer. Thanking you in anticipation Yours sincerely (BOY) MODERN REPLY TO MODERN LOVE LETTER
Dear boy:
Please refer to your letter dated today. I am pleased to inform you that I hope to accept your proposal for romance. However you should be informed that there are certain conditions of acceptance-promotional prospects are to my satisfaction. However please enlighten me as to your retirement benefits. Gradually should be generous. I also need to be assured that there is satisfaction security with regard to this commitment. If there is any chance of retirement on your part, then I should receive compensation according to union standards. Due to the nature of my position IN sure you will agree th at an expense account should be arranged for me. I shall be entering in addition housing and transport allowances should be in order and nothing less than a luxury condo and a jag is in order. Please also note that there should be no moon light restrictions placed on my self. If you are still interested in the relationship please reply on an urgent basis as other prospective lovers have sent indication of interest. Please also note that my sister is happily employed. Yours perhaps (GIRL)
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