Elections Jokes (Sri Lankan)
Posted by Sisira on October 06, 192000 at 12:33:06

Yuo folks!

The election fever is now at its zenith but I am still not sure whether you have decided whom to vote. Hope this brief guide will help you?.

The top ten perfectly logical reasons to vote for UNP?

1. Your grand farther had voted for UNP, your father had voted for UNP and now you want to continue the family tradition.
2. It is the lesser of the two evils. (Justification: "Bheeshanaya tikak thibuna thamai, eth api meeta vada hondata kala endala hitiyane!" Though it was a bit terror regime, we were better off then.)
3. You are an automobile tire merchant and you are certain your business will prosper under a UNP regime.
4. You are an under world Goonda and you have a feeling that your skills and talents will be exploited in a more productive manner if UNP comes to power.
5. Your wife (husband) is an ardent fan of Chandrika and you know in this darned country no self-respecting man (woman) admits sharing the same political ideology with his spouse.
6. You know politicians hardly remember their promises once the election is over, but you still have a vague feeling that Ranil would give you the golden bracelet he promised, if he comes to power.
7. You love Ranil's girlish voice as it brings back the fond memories of your teenage girl friend who had a very similar voice.
8. You hate Ranil's voice but still like his speeches better than those of his main rival's, as you know whatever Ranil may be at least he does not abuse your mother tongue by using words belong to "bajar" language like 'henchaiya', 'joliya' and 'mahaeka' when addressing the nation.
9. You feel so sorry for Ranil, as you have a feeling the poor fellow surely will commit suicide if he looses this time too.
10. You feel Lasantha Wickramatunga can do a better job than Lucien Rajakarunanayake as the chairman of the Lake House.

And to be fair, here is the top ten perfectly logical reasons to vote for PA?

1. Your grand father had never voted for UNP, your father had never voted for UNP and now you want to continue the family tradition.
2. It is the lesser of the two evils. (Justification: "Badumila tikaka vedi thamai, eth den api bayak sekak nethuva innavane!" ??????? Although the cost of living is higher, we have no fear today?????????)
3. Chandrika came to address a political meeting near your place during the 1994 campaign, and she smiled at you. (Well, there was a large crowd, but you knew it was with you she smiled.)
4. You got your job in the post 94 era after toiling like a bull and you now work in one of the following institutions: Rupavahini, ITN, Lake House, Telecom, Petroleum Corporation or Ports Authority (the money is much better and you dont have to work)
5. Vijaya Kumaranatunge is your film idol and you would do anything ? I mean ANYTHING ? to bring back his beloved into power.
6. Sanath Gunatilake is your film idol??????????????.
7. Now you are sort of 'addicted' to the 'SB-Mangala-Anurudda, and
now Ratnasiri comedy shows' on Rupavahini and ITN, (which are obviously far better than the Anesly-Berty-Samuel comedy shows) and you hate missing them.
8. You feel so sorry for Mangala, as you know if the poor chap looses his current job he will find it extremely difficult finding another given his brains and experience? unless he selects to work as a private bus conductor where his big mouth will be a big asset, or he goes to Australia
and stars in Gay parades.
9. You are a Samurdhi Animator and you better know what your job responsibilities are.
10. Before the Election Day a Samurdhi Animator visits your place and asks for your polling card saying "Mokatada chande danda yanna karadara venne? Apita oka karala denna beriye!" (Why do you bother to vote? We'll
do the job for you) and you see some logic in that statement.

Here is the only logical reason I can think of for anybody to vote for JVP?

1. Your father votes for PA, your mother votes for UNP and you hate your parents.

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