Special Occasions
Posted by B. Vallah on April 17, 1999 at 03:07:01:

This is more embarrassing for my mother than for me because I wasn't quite four
years old when it happened. My mother taught me to read when I was 3 years old
(her first mistake).

One day, I was in the bathroom and noticed one of the cabinet door was ajar. I read
the box in the cabinet. I then asked my mother why she was keeping napkins in the
bathroom. Didn't they belong in the kitchen? Not wanting to burden me with
unnecessary facts she told me that those were for special occasions.

Now fast forward a few months. It's Thanksgiving Day, and my folks are leaving to
pick up the pastor and his wife for dinner. Mom had assignments for all of us while
they were gone. Mine was to set the table.

When they returned, the pastor came in first and immediately burst into laughter.
Next came his wife who gasped, then began giggling. Next came my father, who
roared with laughter. Then came mom, who almost died of embarrassment when she
saw each place setting on the table with a "special occasion" napkin at each plate,
with the fork carefully arranged on top. I had even tucked the little tails in so they
didn't hang off the edge. My mother asked me why I used these and, of course, my
response sent the other adults into further fits of laughter.

"But Mom, you SAID they were for special occasions!

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