This is a good one... :)
-Mott

CALCUTTA's Telegraph has got hold of an answer paper of a candidate at
the
recent UPSC examinations. The candidate has written an essay on the
Indian
cow:

"The cow is a successful animal. Also he is quadrupud, and because he is
female, he give milk, but will do so when he is got child. He is same
like
God, sacred to Hindus and useful to man. But he has got four legs
together.
Two are forward and two are afterwards.

"His whole body can be utilised for use. More so the milk. What can it
do?
Various ghee, butter, cream, curd, why and the condensed milk and so
forth.
Also he is useful to cobbler, watermans and mankind generally.

"His motion is slow only because he is of asitudinious species. Also
his
other motion is much useful to trees, plants as well as making flat
cakes in
hand and drying in the sun. Cow is the only animal that extricates his
feeding
after eating. Then afterwards she chew with his teeth whom are situated
in
the inside of the mouth. He is incessantly in the meadows in the grass.

"His only attacking and defending organ is the horn, specially so when
he is
got child. This is done by knowing his head whereby he causes the
weapons
to be paralleled to the ground of the earth and instantly proceed with
great
velocity forwards.

"He has got tails also, but not like similar animals. It has hairs on
the
other end of the other side. This is done to frighten away the flies
which
alight on his cohoa body whereupon he gives hit with it.

The palms of his feet are soft unto the touch. So the grasses head is
not
crushed. At night time have poses by looking down on the ground and he
shouts
his eyes like his relatives, the horse does not do so.

"This is the cow."

P.S.: We are informed that the candidate passed the exam.

NEWS FLASH: Mother Teresa became very ill recently (rumor has it that
she read this article). Sic!