Buzzword Generator
Posted by Bal Vallah on July 08, 1998 at 21:49:34:
So, you have been outdone by people who use buzzwords. Maybe you are trying hard to impress you boss and colleagues. Or, maybe you are a professor who need some new ideas for a paper. Whatever your needs, we can help. For $19.99, you can get Buzzword Generator for your field of work. For example, when you order a Buzzword Generator for Managers, you will receive a table like this one: COLUMN I COLUMN II COLUMN III --------------------- --------------------- ---------------- 0. integrated 0. management 0. options 1. heuristic 1. organizational 1. flexibility 2. systematized 2. monitored 2. capability 3. parallel 3. reciprocal 3. mobility 4. functional 4. digital 4. programming 5. responsive 5. logistical 5. scenarios 6. optional 6. transitional 6. time-phase 7. synchronized 7. incremental 7. projection 8. compatible 8. third-generation 8. hardware 9. futuristic 9. policy 9. contingency
The procedure is simple. Think of any three-digit number; then select the corresponding buzzword from each column. For instance, number 257 produces "systematized logistical projection", a phrase that can be dropped into virtually any report with that ring of decisive knowledgeable authority. No one will have the remotest idea of what you're talking about, but the important thing is that THEY ARE NOT ABOUT TO ADMIT IT!
So before, your frustration turn into Buzzword Deficiency Syndrome, order one of our charts. Operators are standing by. Call 1-800-555-BUZZ. If you order now we will include a set of hand written numbers from 0 to 9 that can be drawn to generate the three digit number. This is a limited time offer.
|