What did the mushroom say when he was kicked out of the
nightclub?

Don't kick me out, I'm a fun-guy!

What kind of meat does the pope eat?

Nun.

What do you call a bee that produces milk?

Boobee

Did you hear about the cannible who passed his friend in the
woods?

Why were the stockings hung by the chimney with care?

Because he'd worn them for months, and they needed the air.

When do you have the right to scold your coffee?

When you have more than sufficient grounds.

What do you call a fly without wings?

A walk.

What do you call a fly without wings or legs?

A roll.

What do the NY Yankees and Michael Jackson have in common?

They both need a 12 year old to score!

What's the difference between OJ and American justice?

OJ is free.

What was the first thing Madonna said to her Doctor before
viewing the ultrasound pictures of her new baby?

"I'll be happy just as long as it doesn't look like Dennis Rodman."

What's the difference between the New York Jets and a dollar
bill?

You can get four quarters out of a dollar bill.

Why is it so hard to get a ticket on ValuJet?

They're swamped.

What is the difference between Ted Kennedy and the Iraqi army?

Ted Kennedy has at least one confirmed kill.

What movie did they show on TWA flight 800?

Forget Paris.

What is the only evidence that OJ couldn't have murdered his
ex-wife?

Any man who can host Monday Night Football next to Howard
Cosell without killing him couldn't kill anybody.

When most people see a glass partially filled with water, they see
it as either half full or half empty.

Bob Dole sees it as a great place to put his teeth.

Why didn't Cuba have a team in the Olympics?

Because, any Cuban that could run, jump, or swim already lives in
America.

What happened to the two peanuts walking in Centennial Park?

One was a salted.

Did you hear that Proposition 215 was passed allowing marijuana
to be used for medical reasons?

The people who sponsored the bill were quoted as saying, "This is
a victory for patients' rights and the freedom to... uhm, what was I
saying?"

Did you hear that after three months being grounded, the Federal
Transportation Department has given ValuJet permission to
resume flying?

They figured ValuJet would be able to "ground" itself anyway.

Why are did Michael Jackson and Lisa-Marie finally get a
divorce?

Michael misunderstood their discussion about having children.

Dr. Kevorkian received a gun permit.

Why does he need a gun? Drive-by office visits.

Pillsbury dough boy turned 30 this year.

Do you give him a cake... isn't that cannibalism?

You can visit my home page at:
http://www.myna.com/~abdul/main.html