The Jeep, The Dog, The Dynamite
Posted by Bal Vallah on June 05, 1998 at 03:53:54:
A man bought a brand new Grand Cherokee for 30-some thousand dollars with $400+ dollar monthly payments. He immediately got hold of his friend and they went to do some male bonding. They went duck hunting...and of course, all the lakes are frozen. The two went to the lake with the guns, the dog, the beer and of course the new vehicle. They drove out onto the lake ice and got ready. Now, they wanted to make some kind of a natural landing area for the ducks, something for the decoys to float on. Remember, it's all ice and in order to make a hole large enough to look like something a wandering duck would want to fly down and land on, it is going to take a little more effort than an ice hole drill. So, out of the new Grand Cherokee came the new owner, the friend, the dog, and a stick of dynamite with a short, 40-second fuse. Now these 2 Rocket Scientists did take into consideration that if they placed the stick of dynamite on the ice at a location far from where they are standing (by the new Grand Cherokee), they were taking the risk of slipping on the ice when they ran from the burning fuse and could possibly go up in smoke with the resulting blast. So, they decided to light this 40-second fuse and throw the dynamite, which is what they did. Remember a couple of paragraphs back when I mentioned the vehicle, the beer, the guns AND THE DOG ???? Yes, the dog...a highly trained Black Lab used for retrieving, especially things thrown by the owner. You guessed it, Rover (who has really enjoyed this fun game before) took off at a high rate of doggy speed on the ice and got the stick of dynamite with the burning 40 second fuse just about the time it hit the ice, all to the woes of the 2 idiots yelling, stomping, waving arms and wondering what to do now. The dog, who thought all the commotion was positive encouragement, was really thrilled, and headed back from where it came from moments before, with the stick of dynamite, only to the mounting woes of the 2 men who were now really waving their arms, yelling even louder and jumping higher than ever before. Now one of the men decided to think (something that he had never done before this moment), and grabbed a shotgun and shot the dog. The shotgun was loaded with #8 duck shot, hardly big enough to stop a Black Lab on its appointed rounds. Dog stopped for a moment, slightly confused and then continued on. Another shot...this time the dog, still standing, became really confused (and scared, thinking these 2 Nobel Prize winners have gone insane) and took off to find cover, with the now REALLY short fuse burning on this stick of dynamite. The only cover nearby? Underneath the brand new Grand Cherokee, 30-some thousand dollar, $400+ monthly payment vehicle sitting on the lake ice. BOOM! The dog and the brand new, shiny, 30-some thousand dollar, $400+ monthly payment, Grand Cherokee sank to the bottom of the lake, leaving the 2 men standing there with this "I can't believe this happened" look on their faces. Later, the owner of the vehicle called his insurance company which told him that sinking a vehicle in a lake by illegal use of explosives is not covered...... .....He had yet to make the first of those $400+ a month payments.
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