THE FIRST REALIZATIONS THAT YOU'RE NOT IN COLLEGE ANYMORE

**You're waking up at 6 am instead of going to bed.

**Beers at lunch get you reprimanded.

**College sweatshirts are 'casual' instead of dress up.

**Your parents charge rent.

**The four food groups are no longer beer, pizza, chips and cereal.

**It's 'getting late' when it's 9:30 p.m.

**Three words: Student Loan Payments.

**You make thousands of dollars a year - and still can't afford that
dream Porsche.

**You start eyeing the Light Beer Section appreciatively.

**Pickup football games mean that at least one person will be in the
hospital by game's end.

**THEN, discussing with your friends: GPA's, spring break plans, and
tonsil hockey;

**NOW: mutual funds, interest rates, and wedding plans.

**Sleeping on the couch is a no-no.

**Naps are no longer available between noon and 6 p.m.

**Sneakers are now 'weekend shoes'.

**Dinner and a movie - The whole date instead of the beginning of
one.

**Pregnancy now brings thought of tax deductions instead of
coronaries.

**Jack and Cokes become Dewers on the Rocks.

**The only drugs you take are Tums and Tylenol.

**The weak single you hit in the intramural softball game is now
remembered as a Varsity dinger for the League Championship.

**You get your news from sources other than USA Today, ESPN
Sportscenter, and MTV News.

**Random hook-ups are no longer socially acceptable.

**You wear more ties in a week than you even owned while taking in
college.

**You find yourself reminiscing fondly of 2-hour Calculus exams.

**You empathize with the characters from 'Friends.'

**METABOLISM SLOWDOWN

**Wine appreciation expands beyond Boone's and Mad Dog.

**You actually eat breakfast foods at breakfast time.

**Grocery lists actually contain relatively healthy food.

**When drinking, you say at least once per night, 'I just can't put
it down the same as I used to.'

**Over 90% of the time you spend in front of a computer is for real
work, not video games.

**You're actually willing to pay a bit more to drink in a bar that's
not full of '21-year-old kids.'

**Golf is beginning to seem a lot less silly.
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