Nasrudin Jokes
Posted by Tunga on March 14, 1998 at 10:48:24:
One day Nasrudin was walking along a deserted road. Night was falling as he spied a troop of horsemen coming toward him. His imagination began to work, and he feared that they might rob him, or impress him into the army. So strong did this fear become that he leaped over a wall and found himself in a graveyard. The other travelers, innocent of any such motive as had been assumed by Nasrudin, became curious and pursued him. When they came upon him lying motionaless, one said, "Can we help you? And, why are you here in this position?" Nasrudin, realizing his mistake said, "It is more complicated than you assume. You see, I am here because of you; and you, you are here because of me." ------------------------------------------------------ EVEN THE INNOCENCE HAVE GUILT One day he disagreed with the prior of a monastery at which he was staying. Shortly afterward, a bag of rice was missing. The prior ordered everyone to line up in the courtyard. Then he told them that the man who had stolen the rice had some grains of it in his beard. "This is an old trick, to make the guilty party touch his beard involuntarily," thought the real thief, and stood firm. Nasrudin, on the other hand, thought, "The prior is out to revenge himself upon me. He must have planted rice in my beard!" He tried to brush it off as inconspicuously as he could. As his fingers combed his beard, he realized that everyone was looking at him. "I knew, somehow, that he would trap me sooner or later," said Nasrudin. ----- The Mulla Nasrudin once walked in his garden with one of his servants. The servant cried that he had just encountered Death, who had threatened him. He begged his master to give him his fastest horse so that he could make haste and flee to Teheran, which he could reach that same evening. The Mulla consented and the servant galloped off on the horse. On returning to his house the Mulla himself met Death, and questioned him, "Why did you terrify and threaten my servant?" "I did not threaten him; I only showed surprised in still finding him here when I planned to meet him tonight in Teheran." ----- BORROWING MONEY One day Nasrudin asked a wealthy man for some money. "What do you want it for?" "To buy an elephant." "If you have no money you will not be able to maintain an elephant." "I asked for money, not advice!" ----- ON THE ACT OF EATING AS COMMUNION WITH NATURE One day Nasrudin saw a strange-looking building at whose door a contemplative Yogi sat. The Mulla decided that he would learn something from this impressive figure, and started a conversation by asking him who and what he was. "I am a Yogi," said the other, "and I spend my time in trying to attain harmony with all living things." "That is interesting," said Nasrudin, "because a fish once saved my life." The Yogi begged him to join him, saying that in a lifetime devoted to trying to harmonize himself with the animal creation, he had never been so close to such communion as the Mulla had been. When they had been contemplating for some days, the Yogi begged the Mulla to tell him more of his wonderful experience with the fish, "now that we know one another better." "Now that I know you better," said Nasrudin, "I doubt whether you would profit by what I have to tell." But the Yogi insisted. "Very well," said Nasrudin. "The fish saved my life all right. I was starving at the time, and it sufficed me for three days." ----- EATING TOO MUCH SUGAR When Nasrudin was a magistrate, a woman came to him with her son. "This youth," she said, "eats too much sugar; I cannot afford to keep him in it. Therefore I ask you formally to forbid him to eat it, as he will not obey me." Nasrudin told her to come back in seven days. When she returned, he postponed his decision for yet another week. "Now," he said to the youth, "I forbid you eat more than such and such a quantity of sugar every day." The woman subsequently asked him why so time had been necesary before a simple order could be given. "Because, madam, I had to see whether I myself could cut down on the use of sugar, before ordering anyone else to do it." -------------------------- THE DUCK SOUP A friend of Nasrudin visited him one day with a duck as a gift. Nasrudin was very happy to receive such a rare and expensive gift. He killed the duck and made a delicious soup from it and enjoyed it with the friend. Several days later, a stranger came asking for Nasrudin. Upon inquiring asrudin was told that he is a friend of the friend that brought the duck. So Nasrudin invited him to have dinner with him and offered some duck soup still left in the house. Few days later another stranger appeared claiming that he is a friend of the friend of the friend that brought the duck. Nasrudin, a bit annoyed nevertheless invited him to supper and offered him a soup. Yet another day, one more friend of the friend... came to see Nasruddin. Without further questions Nasrudin offered him a soup. "This is the worst ever soup I tasted. It tastes alsmost like water. Is this the way you treat a friend of a friend of a ...?" the angry friend shouted. "Pardon me sir, this is a soup made from the soup, that was made from the soup,..... that was made from the duck." --------------------- LITERACY OF NASRUDIN A women came to Nasrudin and told, "Sir, I want to send a letter to my daughter in Tehran. As I don't know how to read and write, will you please write a letter for me?" "You see, I injured my leg yesterday. So I can not write any letters now." "But excuse me sir, why can not you write a letter? It is not the hand that injured." "You don't understand madam. I have to go to Tehran to read that letter for them, as only I can read a letter that I wrote. That means you have to wait till my leg get cured."
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